HomeFAQSearchRegisterLog in

Share | 
 

 every little helps!!!!

View previous topic View next topic Go down 
AuthorMessage
ourfairview
Admin
avatar

Posts : 2398
Join date : 2009-05-28
Age : 32
Location : Norfolk, England

PostSubject: every little helps!!!!   Fri Apr 16, 2010 6:16 pm

One day, in line at the works cafeteria, Jack says to Mike behind
him, 'My elbow hurts like hell. I suppose I'd better see a doctor!'

Listen mate ; don't waste your time down at the surgery, Mike replies.

There's a diagnostic computer at Tesco. Just give it a urine sample
and the computer will tell you what's wrong, and what to do about it.

It takes ten seconds and only costs five quid....a lot quicker and
better than a doctor and you get Clubcard points'.

So Jack collects a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Tesco.

He deposits five pounds and the computer lights up and asks for the
urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits.

Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout:
'You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy
activity. It will improve in two weeks'.

That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was,
Jack began wondering if the computer could be fooled.

He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples
from his wife and daughter, and 'pleasured himself' into the mixture for
good measure. Jack hurried back to Tesco, eager to check what would
happen.

He deposits five pounds, pours in his concoction, and awaits the
results with a grin. The computer prints the following:

1) Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener.

2) Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.

3) Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.

4) Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.

5) And if you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will
never get better....

Thank you for shopping at Tesco
Back to top Go down
http://www.fairviewstbernards.co.uk
Chasidyz

avatar

Posts : 181
Join date : 2009-11-24
Age : 31
Location : Bucks County, PA

PostSubject: Re: every little helps!!!!   Fri Apr 16, 2010 7:41 pm

i'm actually laughing out loud at this! thanks!
Back to top Go down
 
every little helps!!!!
View previous topic View next topic Back to top 
Page 1 of 1
 Similar topics
-
» Semen is 'good for women's health and helps fight depression'
» EzyDog Lead
» Forget catnip for controlling squash bugs
» Introuducing an old lady staffie to an old lady Labrador/Collie
» Staffy helps carry the Olympic torch

Permissions in this forum:You cannot reply to topics in this forum
 :: Lounge :: Jokes and humor-
Jump to: